


Mystery of the Hairdressers

by cosmic_llin



Series: The Sarah Jane And Chrissie Mysteries [2]
Category: Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Crime, Female Friendship, Gen, Hair, Mystery, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-24
Updated: 2008-10-24
Packaged: 2017-10-07 22:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_llin/pseuds/cosmic_llin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah and Chrissie investigate mysterious goings-on at Chrissie's salon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mystery of the Hairdressers

**Author's Note:**

> Slight spoilers for The Last Sontaran.

'Hello?' Sarah said, picking up the phone, knowing what was coming.

'Sarah Jane! It's aliens!' Chrissie announced in important tones. 'Aliens! At my hairdressers!'

Sarah sighed, but couldn't help smiling a little. 'Chrissie - did it turn out to be aliens that time you got overcharged at the bakery? Or when that man was looking at you funny on the bus? Or the day the post didn't come until two in the afternoon?'

'No, no, this is different!' Chrissie insisted. 'All those other times were just an excuse to get you to come out for a drink!'

'Oh,' said Sarah. 'Oh! Well, Chrissie that's... odd, but flattering, I suppose...'

'Anyway,' Chrissie continued, 'this time it's really for real, honestly! It's my hairdressers! They're all aliens!'

'Slow down,' said Sarah. 'What makes you suspect them?'

'Well,' said Chrissie, 'in the last month, I've been to the hairdressers... dramatic pause... _five times_.' 

'Did you really just say the words "dramatic pause"?' Sarah asked. 'No... no, I'm not even going to go into it. Chrissie - why is this important? You're always at the hairdressers!'

'No, no, no,' said Chrissie. 'That's where you're wrong. I'm always at the _salon_ - I go to get my nails done, or to get waxed, or for a facial, but to actually get my hair cut, I only go every few weeks. Until recently.'

'So, what's different recently?' Sarah asked.

'It's my hair. It's been growing at a _ridiculous_ rate. I'm having to go in every week for a trim, and it's getting worse.'

'There's a lot of things that could cause that,' Sarah said, but she sounded interested.

'Yes, but it isn't just me,' Chrissie explained. 'I've been _investigating_. It's been happening to other people at the salon, too. Nobody can understand it. And I did some research on the internet, and there's nothing on Earth that can make your hair grow that fast.'

'Hmm,' Sarah said.

'Oh, please Sarah Jane!' Chrissie said. 'This could be a great story for you! Come for a coffee and I'll give you all the details!'

'I have a deadline...' Sarah said, half-heartedly.

'But you know this is going to be more fun!' said Chrissie. 'Pleeeeeeeease?'

Sarah gave in. 'Starbucks, half an hour?'

* * *

Chrissie had a folder full of pictures and documents. Sarah was impressed.

'This,' Chrissie said, flourishing a bundle of photographs showing the salon from various angles and at different times of day, 'is the place.'

'Have you been doing surveillance?' Sarah asked.

'No, I just printed these off their website, for the look of the thing,' Chrissie admitted. 'But look, I've kept all my receipts, and I told a couple of the other girls that go there, and they let me photocopy theirs, too. And look, I've been taking pictures of my hair.' She took out a sheaf of date-printed photographs of herself, with hair of varying lengths. Sarah looked through them.

'That is quite astonishing,' she conceded. 'Hmm... I was thinking of growing mine again, maybe I should drop in there...'

'Ooh, I was hoping you'd say that!' Chrissie said.

* * *

A few days later, Sarah had secured an appointment at the salon, under the name Lila Quest. She didn't like to use her own name for work like this - quite a lot of aliens had heard the name Sarah Jane Smith, and it was likely to set alarm bells ringing. 

Chrissie had wanted a fake name too, but Sarah had pointed out that she was a regular there, and so there wasn't very much point. As a compromise, though, Sarah had agreed that she and Chrissie could pretend not to know one another at the salon - it didn't make any difference, really, but Chrissie seemed to be having fun and Sarah wasn't inclined to spoil it for her.

'We've got a special on highlights today,' the girl at the desk said, perkily, as Sarah arrived. 'Can I interest you at all?'

'No, just a trim,' Sarah said.

'Suit yourself,' said the girl, shrugging. 'Have a seat, Stacy will be with you in a minute.'

Sarah sat on the little sofa and pretended to flick through the hair magazines. She flipped open her watch, and directed it around the room. Chrissie, already having her hair done, sneaked a glance and a wink. Sarah grinned back.

The watch beeped, and Sarah jumped. Somehow she hadn't expected it to actually be aliens, but there it was. Seven Leptidians present in the building. That had to be most of the staff. The watch told her that they were a generally non-belligerent race, comparable to humans in appearance and intelligence, although several decades ahead in terms of scientific development. Sarah had never encountered them.

Chrissie was raising her eyebrows questioningly. Sarah nodded, and Chrissie did a little dance of excitement, startling the young man holding the scissors near her head.

* * *

An hour later, the beautifully-coiffured investigators regrouped at Starbucks. Chrissie had arrived first, and Sarah's cup of tea was ready and waiting. Chrissie's own cup of froth was half-empty already.

'Calamity Jane, you'll help me eat a piece of cake, won't you?' she asked, as the waiter brought one over, with two forks.

'I suppose I'll have to,' Sarah said, cheerfully. 'Chrissie, you were right.' She explained what her scan had revealed.

'I knew it!' Chrissie said. 'So - what's our next step?'

'Well,' said Sarah. 'We know that they're aliens, but we still don't know how they're making everyone's hair grow. I'd say it's something in one of the hair products they're using, but when I asked about buying some of their shampoo, they said it was for salon use only. They were watching me too closely for me to risk taking a sample.'

'Hmm,' Chrissie mused. 'Well, there's only one thing for it. We'll have to break in and steal some.'

'You know,' Sarah said, 'I think you're right.'

* * *

As soon as Luke was safely in bed and out of the way that evening, Sarah put on a warm jacket, checked that her sonic lipstick was in her pocket, and went to pick Chrissie up in the car.

Chrissie had dressed for the occasion, in black from head to foot. The effect was somewhat spoiled by the fact that most of Chrissie's black clothes were also sparkly, but it hardly mattered.

'The beret's a nice touch,' Sarah mentioned, as Chrissie climbed into the car.

'Thanks!' Chrissie beamed. 'So, how does this work? Do we have secret signals, or code names, or anything?'

'I don't know,' said Sarah. 'Usually I'm by myself when I do this sort of thing. Would you like a code name?'

'I did, but I couldn't decide what to have,' Chrissie said, launching into a long explanation of her decision-making process which lasted until they arrived at the salon. Sarah parked a couple of streets away, and they got out and walked. As they approached the salon, Sarah took out the sonic lipstick, and disabled the security cameras in the vicinity.

'They'll transmit on a loop,' she explained to Chrissie. 'So if anyone's monitoring them, they won't realise anything's wrong.'

'Ooh, that's clever!' Chrissie said. 'Could I get one of those lipstick things, do you think?'

'This is the only one,' said Sarah. 'Custom-made for me.'

'Ooooh,' said Chrissie enviously, as Sarah unlocked the door and they stepped into the salon.

Sarah closed the door softly behind them and switched on her torch. 'Let's make this quick,' she said. 'We'll just take a bit of everything and analyse it later.'

'Right,' said Chrissie, heading into the store cupboard and grabbing bottles to put into a bag.

'Take the bottles that haven't been opened yet,' Sarah reminded her. 'They'll notice if we take the half-full ones.'

'Oh, good point,' said Chrissie, taking out a few bottles and replacing them, before rearranging the shelves to cover the change. 'There, like new. They'll never know.'

'All right,' said Sarah, who was going through some documents on the front desk. 'There doesn't seem to be anything important here. Let's go.'

Suddenly there was a crash, and they froze.

'What was that?' Chrissie whispered.

'Ssh!' said Sarah.

They stood silently for a few moments, hearts pounding. Then, outside, a cat yowled, there was more crashing, and suddenly silence.

'It was just a cat,' Sarah said.

'That's what they always think in films, right before the man with the hook comes and gets them...'

'Don't,' said Sarah. 'It was a cat. Come on, let's go home.'

Nervously, they left the salon, Sarah locked the door behind them, and they hurried back to the car.

* * *

Twenty minutes later they were back in Sarah's attic, and Mr Smith was analysing the bottles they had gathered.

'Why's he called Mr Smith, anyway?' Chrissie said. 'Or shouldn't I ask?'

Sarah was about to answer, but Mr Smith cut her off.

'I have finished analysing, Sarah Jane,' he said. 'You were correct. These bottles contain a compound native to Leptidia, commonly used to treat hair loss and to facilitate quicker hair growth.'

'Is it harmful?' Sarah asked.

'It is not harmful to humans,' Mr Smith said.

'Well, that's a relief!' said Chrissie. 'I was worried for a bit that I'd grow extra limbs, or something... Still, it's not on, is it, sticking this stuff on our heads so that we'll have to come back for more haircuts?'

'You're right, it's not acceptable,' Sarah agreed. 'And tomorrow we'll go and tell them so.'

* * *

Sarah was a little surprised that Chrissie owned a suit, but had to admit that it suited her. They had decided last night to power dress for the occasion, for maximum intimidation power.

'Your hair's definitely grown again since yesterday,' she observed, as Chrissie got into the car.

'So's yours,' Chrissie said. 'Looks nice! Maybe you should keep it?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said Sarah. 'I can't decide at all lately what I want to do with it.'

'I'll bring some hair magazines round one day, help you decide,' said Chrissie.

'Here we go...' said Sarah, as they pulled up by the hairdressers.

They got out of the car, expressions serious, and strode towards the entrance.

'I still say we should have worn shades,' Chrissie said, under her breath.

'Overkill,' said Sarah. 'Trust me.'

They entered. 'We want to speak to the manager,' Sarah announced imperiously.

'Um... she's busy at the moment...' said the girl behind the desk.

'Oh, she'll speak to us,' said Sarah. 'It's a very important matter.'

'I'll just go and see if she has a minute...' the girl said, nervously.

'You're scary!' Chrissie whispered as they watched the girl hurry into the back room.

'I try,' said Sarah.

The manager seemed scared, too, and agreed to see them in the back office.

'My name,' said Sarah, 'is Sarah Jane Smith.'

The manager blanched.

'This is my associate, Chrissie Jackson,' Sarah continued. 'You know what this is about, I'm sure.'

'Look, I'm really sorry about the shampoo!' the manager said. 'We'll stop! We don't want any trouble!'

'Not very nice, is it?' Chrissie said. 'Forcing people to fork out all that money for extra haircuts? What were you playing at, eh? Don't you know there's a credit crunch going on? How are we supposed to afford all these trips to the salon?'

'Hey, just because we're not from Earth, it doesn't mean we're not affected by the credit crunch too!' the manager protested. 'We were just trying to make a bit more money - business has been bad lately.'

'Well, you've chosen to live on this planet - which is fair enough, in my book,' said Sarah, 'but you have to abide by our laws. I don't mind you being here, but you can't mess around with humans just because they're less technologically advanced.'

'You're not going to report us to Torchwood, are you?' the manager asked.

Sarah rolled her eyes. 'God, no.'

'What's Torchwood?' whispered Chrissie.

'Another time,' said Sarah. She turned back to the manager. 'No, I'm not going to report you to Torchwood, or UNIT, or anybody else. We certainly can't tell the police about this. But I do expect you to stop what you're doing. I know it's hard to get by, but you have to find a legal way to make money, just like everyone else.'

'All right,' the manager sighed.

'You could always dilute that stuff and sell it as hair restorer,' Chrissie said. 'I know there's lots of them on the market already, but your one definitely works.'

The manager smiled weakly.

'And we'll be keeping an eye on you from now on,' Sarah said. 'So don't try anything funny.'

'Of course not,' said the manager.

'And I want a refund for all my extra haircuts,' Chrissie said.

'I'll get it from the till right now,' the manager said, getting up and going out into the main salon.

'That went quite well,' Sarah said. 'Pretty straightforward.'

'I was hoping it would be more exciting,' Chrissie admitted.

'Most aliens are just people,' Sarah said. 'Sometimes they're exciting, sometimes they're not.'

The manager returned, then, with a refund for Chrissie, and two booklets full of vouchers for free haircuts. Sarah and Chrissie accepted them graciously, and said a polite goodbye.

'They won't get into trouble again,' said Sarah, as they drove away.

'So... we've saved the day?' Chrissie asked.

'Well, that's a bit strong, there was no actual _danger_...' Sarah began.

'Oh, but we did, though!' Chrissie said. 'Come on. Say it. Please. We saved the day.'

'Oh, all right,' Sarah sighed. 'We saved the day.'

'Hurrah!' said Chrissie. 'So... Starbucks?'


End file.
